Off to River Cottage!

Well, it has been glorious weather this week and it has coincided with The River Cottage 'Get Growing in Spring' Fayre. Now, for those of you who don't know Ms Monkey, I should tell you that I am a bit of a River Cottage fan and will venture a visit whenever I am able. The Fayres are a low cost way of spending the day, pottering about and absorbing the ambiance....plus, they always attract purveyors of fine organic fayre, country crafts and horticultural odds and sods.

A familiar sight....the legend that is River Cottage

For those of you who aren't aware and live in a cave; River Cottage is a program on Channel 4 about chef Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall and his quest to down-size and live a sustainable life. This quest has been partially successful. In that; the initial down-sizing has now up-sized because of the success of the program and general desire of a increasingly large number of people to live the River Cottage dream, myself included (although it will be a few years yet before I can sort out the small-holding bit as I shall need partners). I've met Hugh a few times and he's a lovely bloke, not celebrityfied at all and he has a marvellous recollection for faces.....or strange gothy hairdos anyway! And no, I do not have the 'hots' for him, Dave Vanian he ain't......sorry Hugh!

Now, getting there turned out to be a bit of a mission. My beloved Pearl is distinctly unwell at the moment. Her head gasket has gone and after removing the head the garage found it to be cracked. All that time driving the poor dear around, thinking I had a dodgy exhaust!! So, to replace the head I was quoted upwards of £400 by various breakers yards but to purchase a reconditioned engine would cost £300. No contest really! So she is currently undergoing an engine transplant, fingers crossed!! So the garage has lent me a VW Polo. This is great as it costs a lot less to run than the Pearl, but bad, because it is a manual. This created a huge problem; because of my disability I am unable to use the clutch or accelerator for long periods. Luckily, good ole Mrs McGregor stepped up to the plate and offered to drive said car up to Axminster, drop us off and then go questing for fossils on the Jurassic Coast.

And so we, the Monkey offspring and I, were dropped off at about eleven on the most beautiful sunny March day. There was barely a breeze and so it was definitely T-shirt weather....although Ms Monkey had not packed the factor 50, so spent the day sweltering in her black polo neck. However, ice cold Stinger beer helped to ease the heat. Stinger beer is about the only beer Ms Monkey will drink and is flavoured with nettles! They do make a big difference to the flavour, although I would rather have cider! But on a hot, sweaty March day it hit the spot! Young master Gee was allowed to have a few sips as well, although after the first few swigs he was more interested in peeling off the label than quaffing a fine ale. (Ms Monkey's view on alcohol and children has always been one of demystification. They can have it if they want it; but I'm not bailing them out of prison or cleaning up their sick! So best they do it in moderation! It seems to be working so far and they drink a lot less than I did when I was a teenager.....to be honest they couldn't drink much more and still be alive......Ms Monkey's recollection of the teenage years is a little hazy).

So, what can you do to annoy a sunbathing teenager?

Bingo! "Now, if only I had filled full of water first", thinks Dude

There were various lectures throughout the day, although my miserable brood refused to allow me to sit through more than one. I managed to catch Gil's lecture on cooking Razor clams, which made me extremely hungry! There were also lectures on foraging from John Wright, gardening talks from Mark Diacano and The Three Hungry Boys talking about....being hungry! Mostly we go to the River Cottage Fayres for the ambience and the shopping.....next time the children can stay at home!!

We did come home with some fabulous purchases:

Burn, baby burn.....I can see some regrets in the near future

Our first fabulous purchase, was a couple of chili plants, one of which is the legendary Dorset Naga. Let's put this into context, a Scotch Bonnet chili tests at about 150,000 - 325, 000 SHU (Schoville Heat Units - basically, how many drops of water are needed to dilute the chili to a point of neutrality), whilst a Dorset Naga is about 1 million SHU. After a stern lecture regarding responsible behaviour (mostly directed at Gee.....in other words I need to keep it in a safe and count the fruit each morning to make sure he's not taking any to school) we were sold a little plant, I shall call him George! Now I know Gee wants to try one; I shall be standing by with a fire extinguisher filled milk or lassi (that's a yogurt drink not a dog), as does my dear friend Juice. I, on the other hand, think that I might just make some chili sauce with the fruit....for special occasions! I also bought a much more 'friendly' chili plant called Fairy Lights, chosen for its purple leaves. It still packs a punch at 50,000 SHU but will be perfect for cooking, me thinks!

Oxalis tuberosa.....no, I haven't a clue what to do with it!

We also got some funny Oxalis tubers, which appear to be grown in South America as an alternative to potatoes (although the chap we bought them off suggested the were similar to radish.....time will tell, I suppose).

Another shrimp for the barbie anyone

We got hold of some fabulous Eco-disposable BBQ's, which will be perfect for the beach this summer. It's basically a carved out piece of tree trunk filled with charcoal, which means no red hot pieces of metal to drag home. A simple but brilliant idea! Wish I'd thought of it......wish I had a chainsaw!

Apart from shopping, one of the reasons for heading up to River Cottage was to have a nosey at their barn. If you weren't aware; a fire ripped through the barn from the kitchen. This was the barn where I have spent many a night, slightly sloshed......alright, completely plastered.....munching on the fabulous foodie offerings that River Cottage has to offer.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPMkyLXbrsA Dramatic video alert!

What's left of the Barn

The Barn - Another angle

I really hope they get the barn up and running again soon, Ms Monkey intends to add some more bleary, alcohol soaked, foodie memories to her collection in the not too distant future! Ms Monkey has, today, booked her ticket for the annual members party; where, I can assure you, she will be propping up a bar, sipping elderflower champagne and poking succulent, organic, dead animal round a plate!

Ms Monkey and her old friend Hugh at last years Members' Party