I really should have learnt by now, that one day of feeling back to normal doesn't mean that my current flare up is over. A fitful night's sleep, not helped by one of the boys' alarm going off at 3am, found me unable to rise this morning. All of the days plans to go to Truro and see my GP have fallen by the wayside as I struggle to find the enthusiasm to even make a cup of tea.
And so now i find myself wracked with guilt at the thought of another day wasted. Dude's trainers, sit in their box by the front door, still too small for him. The cats look longingly at their dry food dispenser and Spitfire bleats pitifully that cats of their station should not be treated in such a manner. I should point out that they have tinned food, but like to graze on a few crunchy morsels during the day...of course they could go out and catch something. There are plentiful rabbits and small scurrying rodents in the dunes behind the house, but it's all far too much trouble.
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| And where is my biscuit then? |
Spitfire, the only queen, is descended from feral stock, her wild mother decided to have her kittens in my dining room, and is an adept hunter. She often brings back adult rabbits twice her size and the two foot rats that appear, periodically, on the lawn are gifts from her, I believe. And yet, she wouldn't say boo to a goose...mind you, I don't think I would either. Not without a running start, anyway!
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| I know where you live.. |
Tyson, is a handsome, smokey tabby and an utter thug. I have no doubt that he could hunt, but he would rather 'strut his stuff' and mug Spitfire for her kills. I have seen him intimidate her into dropping some small furry prize, picking it up and then proudly depositing its sad, little corpse at my feet. It's not as if he can't move like greased weasel shit, when he puts his mind to it though. Lolli takes particular pleasure in chasing him out of the garden, when she is feeling mischievous! Normally at dinner times!!
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| No one has stolen the radiator whilst I've been guarding it! |
Po is our elder statesman. He is fifteen and has never liked the outside world. He spends his time, asleep, on a stool in the kitchen, next to the radiator or draped across my shoulders like a purring fox-fur stole ; albeit plumper and heavier!
He is the last of a trio of black cats, who moved down with my Father, Gee and I from Northampton, where I spent most of my formative years. There's very little point in me telling you much about growing up in Northampton, as Andrew Collins has already produced a couple of fine books on the joys of growing up 100 yards from me (bastard!!) They are very insightful though, do check them out: Where did it all go right & Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now (Ebury Press: Random House). The only difference being...well, he's a bloke and he actually bothered at school...two differences...and although we 'hung' in the same places, we moved in slightly different circles...all right three differences! I didn't expect the Spanish Inq..No! I will not be drawn into dodgy Monty Python sketches!...Well not often, anyway!
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| An Xmas morning hug and suitably festive collar! |
The last, and latest, feline member of our family is Jake. Jake is Dude's companion and at six months old is really still a kitten. Jake fell into our laps when a friend was given him as an unwanted kitten. At about the same time I was encouraged by Dude's Barnardo's worker to give him some more responsibility. Dude has taken very well to the role of cat 'mother', although there is quite a bit of grumbling when Jake has enriched our olfactory senses with a little 'gift' in the litter tray! In return Jake is pliant and long suffering, he doesn't scratch if Dude gets too rough but will mewl piteously when over loved!
Jake is the only member of the family to have grown up with Lolli, whom he regards as an equal, instead of with a mixture of loathing and fear. Lolli was quite protective of him when he was a kitten. Shepherding him around the garden, so that he didn't go far from the house. The novel of a new kitty soon wore off, however, as Jake developed a disturbing habit of weeing on her bed. A habit he has now, thankfully, grown out of!
And finally, a word should be said about Lolli, our sole canine companion. Lolli is a rough-haired Jack Russell, with an odour that cannot be described by words within the English language. Bathing does little to remove the smell, it just makes it slightly less fiendish and more like damp-dog, combined with sweaty horse blanket. We currently have a resident fox in the neighbourhood, who would appear to conspire with our beloved mutt; by leaving smelly deposits in the garden. Lolli is particularly fond of bathing in these odorous gifts, and there is nothing more frustrating than searching round the house for the source of the vomit inducing smell, before realising that it is following you, enthusiastically matted into the fur of one's long time companion! A real rat on a string!! Lolli's other bad habits include snoring like a portly, elderly gentleman infront of the cricket (even when she's awake!), barking at seagulls farting and other 'obvious' triggers (usually during moments when intense concentration is needed or particularly tense moments in scary films), stealing chocolate, tea and Baileys (poisonous to dogs? I don't think so!), peeing on friends carpets, redistributing the contents of the bin, trying to start fights with other dogs when on the lead (yes even Rottwielers!) and running away for hours when not on the lead (the last one cost £150 in vets bills when she ran off a cliff...maybe, we don't know exactly....we weren't there)!
But, she is intelligent and affectionate. She is loyal, following me around the house like a shadow. She is ever tolerant of the boys, particularly Dude and his rough play. She doesn't eat other dogs' poo, is never car sick and will pee on command on long journeys. She has a proper bark, not some terrier yap and is always pleased to see you, no matter how long it has been!
I don't think I could live without animals now, they really do become part of the family! And we are a pretty odd ball family at the best of times!
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