Heave Ho me Hearties!

Well, that time of the year has come around again, when my beloved Pearl needs to get her MOT. I see blank faces.....My beloved car is called The Black Pearl. Yes, it was shamefully ripped off a certain piratical film, but it all fits. She's a big girl and she is black and a bit pearly in colour, rust not withstanding! Plus, we live in Cornwall; the home to British pirates...we hold the world record for the number of pirates in a single gathering:

http://www.thisiscornwall.co.uk/Pirates-Penzance-smash-Guinness-World-Record/story-13920244-detail/story.html

The Argentinians may have had second thoughts about the Falklands after seeing this lot!

Then, of course, there are the Pirates of Penzance (Gilbert & Sullivan opera), The Cornish Pirates (rugby team) and of course our wonderful history of smuggling and wrecking....not to mention our absolute desire to fleece every tourist, out of every last penny they own! How much for a cream tea? Extra cream....that will be extra. £17 for some bit of tack with some shells glued on...a bargain, at twice the price!

One thing I have learned about living down here, is that for six weeks of the year, you stay at home! You try to avoid shopping, turning right across a main road and buying petrol from a main road garage. If you do go out, you can't park anywhere and you can guarantee that you will be stuck in a jam at least once....normally because of some old boy on a tractor....and no, he won't pull over at that convenient layby and let you pass...suck it up...it's tourist season!

Now, I have no objection to tourists....they bring money to what is the second poorest area in the UK. Most people I know down here have jobs because of tourism, either directly or indirectly. OK, most of them are gardeners....but if it wasn't for all of our gorgeous tourist centred gardens, there would be no jobs. And most of the second home owners employ gardeners and cleaners... but wages are low, jobs tend to be seasonal and winter can be a bit bleak. But, we have the beaches to ourselves and we can take the dogs on them.

Now this is the point where I hear all those people who want to cut the benefits saying, why should you have a car if you are on benefits? Well, let's break it down...my nearest shop is over a mile away. I can barely walk 50 yds, certainly not without a stop. My nearest bus stop is over 500yds away, down a steep flight of steps and over rough waste ground...I can't get to it. So I would have to get a taxi, to the bus stop. It gets worse. My nearest Job Centre is in Penzance, 15 miles away. To get there, without a car, I would have to get a taxi to the bus stop or train station, catch said bus or train to Penzance and then I would still be over a mile away from the Job Centre. It's up hill all the way to the Job Centre and there are no buses, I would therefore, have to take another taxi. And yet there is a car park right next door. You can see why I need my car. This is before I can even think of food shopping....

Now I don't qualify for the mobility element of Disability Living Allowance (apparently having proof of my disability from six agencies isn't sufficient), so I have to use my other benefits to pay for it and yet it is regarded as a luxury item by politicians, based in a city that has excellent public transport in the form of trains, buses and tubes. I couldn't even get a bus to the supermarket from my house! And so every year I am left worrying about how I can afford to get my car through another MOT and what is going to happen when I can't. As it is, if I didn't have a credit card I would be stuffed. But what happens when I can't pay that any more?

We even include the car in family photo's!
(2010, we're still waiting for snow this year!)

Luckily this year, it was just the exhaust and a bit of tweaking on the hand brake. The bill will still come to around £400, then there will be the tax in May, that will be another £200+. By then I will have lost out by freezes in tax credits and child benefit, which will soon be followed by the removal of the little DLA I get now, under the new welfare changes. I'm just wondering when the government will be reintroducing work houses and cholera. Put me down for diphtheria, oh....have I been immunised? Damn, how about a bit of rickets or scurvy? I suppose I ought to stick with the goth image and waste away from consumption.... Now wouldn't that be a weight off David Cameron's mind!